I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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