So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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