I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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