what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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