How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
there was a trapeze. enough said
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
COCAINE IS GR8
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
