Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
