apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Everyone says I win the strip club
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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