This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
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