One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Randomize
