My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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