She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
