Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
