WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
