Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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