Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
