I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Randomize
