Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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