I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
