you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
