What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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