i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize