I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
