marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
