Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
