Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
