So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
he shaved USA in his pubs
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
My breasts were aching with rage.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
