grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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