thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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