your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize