He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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