he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize