I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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