I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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