Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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