What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
