I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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