I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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