and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
