I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
