Just cropdusted the office
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
