McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
