HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
