So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
