you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
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