hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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