But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
