i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
