its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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