my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
