I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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