that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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