doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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