Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
