I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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