Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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