does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Just pee around me
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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