Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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