Porn is love you can see.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
