I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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