watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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