her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
