it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
