Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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